Last night I had a dream about an ex-girlfriend. The details don’t matter. (Like I would tell you, anyway.) What matters is the feeling I woke up with, which lingered for several hours.
In a word, I guess, it was inspiration.
That girl inspired me. She made me want to be a better man. It wasn’t always healthy, mind you. I often strayed into wanting to be someone else entirely, or wanting to improve only for her sake and not for my own.
That might be why, ultimately, she sent me packing.
But that’s not the point. The point is that this inspiration has given birth to an idea — something I’ve been kind of orbiting around for a while now.
The idea is this: to formulate my own Philosophy of Life.
I know that sounds quaint and quixotic in this fast-moving age, so here’s what it boils down to: I’m sick of googling random bullshit all the time just to feel like I’m making informed decisions. I want to slow down and really dig into some basic questions about life and figure out where I stand.
What does this have to do with the ex-girlfriend?
Well, sitting around dwelling on this warm-and-fuzzy feeling, I was trying to decide what to carry forward from that relationship. I think that when a relationship fails, especially if it’s important to you, you should come away with at least one concrete lesson.
For example, based on my last relationship I decided that my work really should be more important to me.
The ex-girlfriend that I dreamed about had a coherent philosophy of life. It wasn’t the most detailed or original but it did at least hang together and make sense. In other words, she had integrity. She knew where she stood.
Maybe more than anything, that’s what I want for myself right now. Clarity and integrity so I can move forward with purpose, feeling whole and true to myself.
Anyway, I don’t want to get too sappy here. Point is, I’ve started the Word document, by God, so this shit’s official.
Questions to be answered: What exactly is a philosophy of life? What should it cover and how deeply? And why have one at all?
That’s, uh, next time.