Addictions are tricky. Give them free rein and they’ll dominate your life. Try to kill them off and … well, they’ll still dominate your life.
Oh, for a happy medium.
I’m trying to make peace with my addictions. They’re pretty innocent, really. I drink too much coffee and I’m a kind of seasonal smoker. I’ll go months (sometimes years) without cigarettes, then start up again. I’ll enjoy it — a lot — for a few months and then quit.
The pendulum swings. Maybe it’s the time of year. I tried to kick caffeine, thinking it would help my anxiety: instead, all the color drained out of life. One cup of coffee brought it back, along with a craving for cigarettes.
Do I give in? Leave it at coffee?
Compromises abound. They accumulate every time I repeat this cycle.
Here’s what I’ll do:
I’ll buy a fat cigar. I’ll go home, get high, then pull a chair onto the back patio and smoke tobacco, enjoying the odd patch of blue sky that appears overhead.
Yes, that’s what I’ll do.
Happy Sunday, everyone.