Attack of the Dreaded Caffeine Wean

Just as I reach maximum irritability from quitting tobacco, in swoops the next wave of puritanical health-nut insanity: caffeine reduction.

Jesus Fuck, the caffeine reduction.

Don’t get me wrong. My reasons for quitting are legitimate. In other words, this is more than just hardcore minimalism.

I have a fucking anxiety disorder. Why the HELL would I drink a stimulant every day?

What’s crazy to me is that it’s taken me so long to quit for good. I’ve found that just cutting out caffeine reduces my anxiety by around 80%. That’s kind of significant.

Still, it’s a sacrifice. Having gone through both more than a handful of times, I can tell you that caffeine withdrawal is worse than nicotine withdrawal. You don’t get the insane cravings when you’re ditching caffeine, but you feel way, way worse: headache, nausea, dizziness, ridiculous fatigue.

God, I can’t wait.

At this point, I’m down to a single cup of coffee and two black teas. A couple weeks ago I was having three or four cups of coffee and multiple teas/sodas after that. Actually, that was a pretty reasonable intake by previous standards. I’ve been known to drink 12+ cups of black coffee per day, chased by caffeine pills when my stomach couldn’t handle it anymore.

Blah, blah. What about the van?

Well, tonight is the last night sleeping in my own bed. (I know, right as fatigue starts to mount from lack of caffeine; also right after I hurt my back.) Tomorrow I’m moving all my furniture into storage, since that’s the only time I could get help moving it, and then I’ll be out of town for the last few days of the month.

I have picked no fewer than 26 different parking spots around town. I wrote my little Python randomizer that will shuffle the order of those spots. So more or less, a different camp site for each day of the month. In a completely unpredictable sequence. I get a kick out of that, for some reason.

Soon I will be buying my very first tool kit. I’m also trying to educate myself on basic auto mechanics. This is a sad and frustrating process. My first upgrade on the van will be to replace the automatic choke with a manual one before winter sets in. Unfortunately the van is not a strong starter, so hopefully the manual choke will help.

Of course, at this point, I don’t even know what a carburetor does, much less what it looks like, much less where it is on my van.

Minor obstacles. I’ve got this.

Finally, an old friend recently moved back into town. I told him what I was planning and he promptly offered me a room in his new apartment. So at least for now, I even have a readily-available backup plan if this all turns out to be a horrible idea.

That seems like such a distant possibility until I think about the manual choke.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got. Happy Saturday, everyone.

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